Pondering the Mystery of Marriage

I was up in the middle of the night pondering marriage. A good friend of mine asked me to preach the (short) sermon at his upcoming wedding and I was lying there awake so I began to meditate on marriage. [I know, death to marriage in the space of a day, weird, but that's how my mind works.]

First the thing that strikes me is that one moves in an instant from "I" to "we." Ever since Cherie and I got married 24 years ago, while I am still an individual, I simply cannot make decisions or choices as an individual—don't even want to. I want to make them as "we" as Cherie and I. This is the nature of marriage and I think it's the way God intended things to be. The two become one flesh.

The primary thing that strikes me about marriage as I ponder what to say is this: The first reason for marriage is not "because we are in love." [Well, it shouldn't be anyway]. The penultimate reason for marriage is that it is a chance for the couple to make Christ look great. This is because marriage is first of all, a covenant. We make "vows" to each other, and "swear" our faithfulness and love for each other because we are freely entering into a covenant which reflects the covenant that Christ has with the church. To the extent that we honor our vows we make Christ look great because marriage is meant to be a shadow of and a reflection upon, the greater covenant that God has made with the church. Thus Paul to the Ephesians: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph 5:31-32 ESV).